Breakups are never easy. Having a significant other vanish after committing a large portion of your time to them can be emotionally overwhelming, lonely, and miles away from your comfort zone. Especially in college, when there are essays, presentations, and exams to deal with, a broken heart may make everything seem more complicated and miserable than it really is. But not to stress, my forlorn fellows, there are ways to cope with a rough breakup, which can lead to a new invention of yourself, new friends, and more happiness than you imagined.
1. Expect the Worst
My mom always told me that a painful breakup is one in many to come throughout my life. As compassionate human beings, we will experience a handful of difficult breakups before we find “The One” – (Unless you marry, have kids, and die with your first love, which is very rare and sometimes unrewarding in the larger scheme of things). Know that you will feel pain for quite sometime, perhaps even a year, or two! Let yourself morn; after all, it is a loss of a loved one. Know that you will see your ex on campus, at your favorite coffee shop, or buying someone else a drink at the bar. You may even see them with a new significant other. It’s going to suck, but if you prepare yourself, it may lessen the sting when it finally happens.
2. Focus on Bigger and Better Things
Instead of drowning in your sadness and hiding under your covers, (which is okay to do for a little while), use your extra time and energy to focus on more important things. Keep yourself busy – Go to ALL of your classes, take fantastic notes, study your butt off, and kill it on your exams. Generate a flow of endorphins by hitting the gym, running, hiking, or any kind of exercise to let out built up anger. Do things that make you proud and confident in yourself. Now is the time for reinvention.
3. Meet New People
Relationships come with new groups of friends that you may have lost after the breakup. People who you thought were your clique are now taking sides, and you may be left with few friends or no one at all. In place of focusing on the emptiness, focus on making new friends and possibly new relationships. In college, awesome people that you may have ignored during your relationship surround you. Sit next to new people in your classes; call old, forgotten friends, and take all invites. Go to all kinds of parties, weekend adventures, or study groups – even if they are with people you barely know. Don’t look at a breakup as a rejection, but as a redirection towards cooler people and new, wonderful experiences.
4. Enjoy Your Freedom
Most importantly, take advantage of YOU TIME! There is far too much fun to be had in college, so do everything and anything that is fun and makes you happy. Without any obligations to another person, you have nothing left but to be yourself without any restrictions. Be spontaneous, try new things, and say yes to every opportunity that leads to creating great memories. College is only four short years of your life, and there should be no need to spend it catering to someone else. You’re allowed to be selfish now, so wear that dorky sweater you love, watch that stupid movie your ex would never sit through, and eat at whatever restaurant you want. Nothing is sweeter than being a free spirit in college.